It was only a couple of months ago when I overheard my 5 year old daughter telling my husband that when she grew up she would not work as hard as Mommy does and that she planned on spending a lot of time playing with her children. It was heartbreaking to say the least. As a working Mother, I find it extremely difficult to juggle the necessity of contributing to the family’s income and being there for my children as a nurturing and playful Mother. Although I feel confident that I am able to hold down a full time job and manage to care for the needs of my children and handle the daily work around the house from laundry, to cooking and cleaning, there is obviously something that my daughter feels is missing from her life. While Daddy is an excellent help with household chores and caring for our children, 2 of whom are under 6 years old, he cannot ever be or even replace “Mommy”. So while he does an excellent job brushing hair, teeth, and saying bedtime prayers, at least one of my little girls still misses her Mommy

It was not long after hearing her comment that I decided to make changes in my life. My little girls were growing up so fast and although I felt that I was a significant part of their lives, I was missing the quality time that my children longed for. I had previously been a stay at home Mother for my older 3 children and I remembered what that was like. I did not want my youngest girls to grow up and remember me as a mere caretaker. I wanted them to have memories of me holding them, singing to them and spending quality time doing things like baking cookies, coloring, or doing puzzles.

Fortunately for me, I own my own business and have control over how much work I do. While giving up work was difficult, it was very important in order to be a part of my children’s life to the extent that I wanted to be. My 6 year old had begun 1st grade and I wanted to be involved in her school activities and perhaps even volunteer in her classroom. So I bit the bullet and cut my hours almost in half. It has now been about 6 weeks since I made the change and while budgeting for this drastic lifestyle change was difficult, it has proven to be extremely beneficial. While I still work full time hours, I feel that I have gained so much more time. I work from home so it is easy to take 15 minutes every now and then and spend time playing or reading to my 4 year old. I take my 6 year old to school every morning and pick her up every day. I sometimes even join her for lunch at her school. I have time to ask her how her day was and to see the work she has created in her class. I can actually help her with homework and sit down and build blocks after dinner. I have had to juggle my time and end up working often times long hours after they have gone to bed. However, in the end, it has been the best change of my life. My little girls seem happier, and even better behaved. I am much less stressed and feel that I am making a difference in their lives and not just raising them.

Being a working mother is a very difficult task and I truly sympathize with any Mother who has to work outside the home on a daily basis and does not have an option to adjust her schedule. For these Moms, I have put together a few tips that I have found seem to make my children remember the moment for what it is worth and not how long it lasted.

• When you bake cookies together, talk about how much fun it is to do things together and how much you enjoy it. Before when I used to bake cookies with them and not talk about it, they didn’t seem to remember it as a significant event.
• Do something with your child that they love to do and that parents don’t usually do. For instance, my girls love to play like they are kittens and absolutely LOVE to have me pretend to be the Mommy Cat. I get down on my knees and crawl around meowing and even when it only last 15 minutes, it will be a cherished memory for them for years to come.
• Plan special times and talk about them for a few days before you do them. The planning and anticipation will make the actual playtime seem even more special.
• Give your special times a name! “Girls Day Out” or “Craft Day”. The titles of these days will carry into their teenage years and long after “Craft Day” is no longer an exciting event. One day, they will look back and say with fond recollection, “Remember when we used to have “Girls Day Out”.
• Remember to hold and sing to your child as long as they will fit in your lap and as long as they enjoy it. My 4 year old can sit in my lap and listen to me sing easily for a half hour and sometimes more. While I often find it difficult not to think to myself about how many things I should be doing, I snap myself right back to reality and remember that one day, she will be too big and not interested and I will wish I had taken the time to do it while I could. So I sit, and I sing, and I hug, for as long as it takes.

The first moments after the birth of your baby are wonderful for bonding with your newborn. Newborn infants are very alert during this first hour and are instinctively looking for food. Studies have been done where an infant is placed on Mother’s stomach immediately after birth. They then make their own way to the breast for their first meal.

Although much of the bonding process is instinctive and will happen naturally, it does not always happen immediately. When I was pregnant with my first child, I never felt that close bond I had heard about while I was carrying my daughter. It wasn’t until after she was born, and I got to hold her and kiss her that the bond began to form.

One thing is for sure, once the bond is there, it is impossible to break. The tie between mother and child is perhaps the strongest in existence between two people. So when it is time to separate from your child it can be extremely difficult for both of you.

Probably the first instance of necessary separation of mother and baby occurs when baby is ready to sleep alone. Giving the baby a bottle or pacifier can cause problems with tooth decay – not to mention the issue of milk leaking into the crib or spoiling during the night. If your baby has been used to sleeping next to you, then your smell is a significant factor in their comfort level. Consider using a bonding doll or toy instead of a bottle or pacifier for baby’s first night alone.

Ookie® Dolls make a wonderful bonding toy. Babies love the soft touch of the cotton flannel body and silky satin trim. The knotted hands are easy for baby to grip. Moms like them because they are lightweight and machine washable.

Cuddle the doll between you and your baby for a few nights before making the transition to the crib. This will give the doll the same scent as you and will cause the baby to associate the doll with comfort.

I used a plush bunny as a bonding toy for my youngest daughter. I started placing the bunny in her crib with her from the very first day. She is now almost 2 years old, and still adores her bunny. The most difficult part is getting it away from her to throw into the washing machine once in awhile!

There will be many more times in life when you will have to separate from your children. I also have a daughter that will be graduating from High School in a few months and moving out on her own. I don’t think this event will be any easier then it was when I placed her in her crib to sleep by herself for the first time when she was a few months old.